Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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