I hope mine doesn't look like that
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
