You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
