then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
