end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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