dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
