oh god the rape fog is back!
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
