the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
