Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
OPIZZABONMYDICK
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
