I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
