My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
