Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
