You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
