it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
