I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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