this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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