We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think my vagina is haunted
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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