google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
