Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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