You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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