If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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