Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
