Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
