i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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