he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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