dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
