We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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