I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
