I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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