This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
