yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
