Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
