id be glad to
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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