You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
