my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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