It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
