I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
