How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm always down for nudity.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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