how do flat chested girls get laid?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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