porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
