quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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