you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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