How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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