Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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