Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
