Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
