this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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