Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
