Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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