Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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