Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
